Keeping my head June 12, 2009

It was sometime during College soccer when it dawned on me that I had spent over 10 years trying to perfect dribbling, tricks, fast ball movement, passing, throw-ins. I had learned to see the soccer game synonymous to the chess game. It was imperative to be two steps ahead of your opponents–the psychology of the game was all up in my head. What wasn’t in my head–it was somewhere lost between remote drills and learning new tricks–was the goal. The goal. That was it. Forget everything. All I really HAD to do was get the ball in between the metal posts and into the net. That was it. And I forgot about that and believed there was something more important: the way I passed, the dribbling moves to burn past opponents— who cares if I didn’t shoot the ball? I looked like I new what I was doing and the other teammates believed I did as well. I thought I knew what I was doing too.

Here’s my point: I don’t think education is that different. We forget the goal. We forget what we are doing and what for and we come up with silly and fun tricks along the way– some of which are researched based and therefore easily justified in the classroom. But let’s not be mundane–I am not talking about “this is all for the kids” because that sounds not only cliche and phony but let’s face it: it’s about a 95% libel. Education is not merely for kids. It’s for us. Perhaps it’s also for some generations down the road. But right now, it is for you and me.  And that’s why we should seriously care so much about it. My greatest hope is that kids that enter my classroom walk out with a better and more sensible understanding about life and how to live their lives. Why does this serve me? It’s two fold: one, it forces me to question my own way of living but it also plants seeds that with enough nourishment will eventually develop into people that understand what it means to make moral and ethical decisions. And so if education is for us, then what are we doing to ensure that we get what’s right (not merely what we want–higher pay checks, motivated students) no, I think what is right is sitting in that diamond mine — that goal — that piece that is so important. For me, that goal is to teach the students about life and living. And that is all. Every content area, every subject falls under this goal. But if we become distracted by the ball dribbling and remote exercises that look so good and feel so right then perhaps we damage ourselves more so than we think we damage the kids. They’ll learn about life with or without us; they’ll learn about living with or without us. The singularly most important thing in this world is you. You get this one chance to teach these kids life and living. The subjects and content we study today are merely rationales for life-no?

reflections from a second year teacher May 29, 2009

There’s this funny idea out there, brought to us no doubt by idiotic advertising campaigns like Mountain Dew, that will delude us all at least once and perhaps many times if we refuse to take responsibility and learn from the happy delusion caused by this seemingly sensical idea. This of course is the notion that “been there” actually means “done that”, and that whatever IT is has been done not only well but pretty much with totally awesome second time around expertise. Perhaps this appropriate advice for someone who is sculpting a creamy peanut butter sandwich for the second time but in terms of sculpting young adolescent rebellious minds: this couldn’t be further from the truth–at least in my humble experience. Truth: I was more like M.C. Hammer’s second album (honestly: too legit, should’ve quit)–admittedly, I sucked more the second time around than the first. Second truth: I still love teaching. I think partly the uncomfortable second year experience has only brought me closer to appreciating the first… As I’ve focused entirely too much on negative aspects this past year (which has done me no good and brought only a split second of self-gratification), I’ve decided  that crap-talk about school has started to bore me and I’m pretty much over it. Also, it’s been recently brought to my attention that I have no control over the past! Imagine that. So I beat on, a small raft against the current, ceaselessly into the past. Or no–I didn’t say that–and I’m pretty sure I like the present a whole lot more. So here’s to new beginnings…and to summer 2009. Amen, sisters.