Ok. Here I am. Now what? There are so many things that I could write about. I can write about my first, second, or upcoming third year of teaching. I can write about my mundane life during the summer (but how, at the same time, I have a secret crush on Summer….shhhh–don’t tell my husband). I might even possibly write about my fear of writing.
With the exception of my crazy obsession with summer, the topics above have more in common than I might originally think. During the first year of teaching, I lacked a bit o’ confidence, despite the fact that I kept this generally under wraps and kept away like a pile of dirty laundry when company comes to visit. My second year of teaching I became a bit more confident, but still hid away the stray socks of uncertainty. Furthermore, it’s unfortunate that even though I love writing, my fear of critique is intimidating enough that I would wait a good three to four weeks to finally write in this here blog. When company finally comes to visit, I realize that teaching and writing reveal something about my character and that, my friends, is something that frightens even the best of us. Without fear, though, how might anyone ever do great things? How might anyone ever realize his or her true potential?
I’m not so sure that I have much more to say right now other than this: I think I’m okay with this “fear” guy. I think I’ll get to know him a bit more and continue to let my fear of uncertainty drive me to become a phenomenal teacher. I think I’ll keep typin’ words on the computer in hopes of becoming an exceptional writer. I think, I just think, I’ll keep on keepin’ on.
“the stray socks of uncertainty”. I love it!
Yeah, I agree that fear is like an icky sock that keeps somehow not getting put in the laundry (forgive me if the metaphor breaks down, as I stink at them–metaphors, not socks, that is). It’s like we can be on top of everything–those of us who are used to being relatively in control of our lives–except our own worries, which are unruly and often seem generally unuseful. But I also agree that I generally feel fear when I’m pushing myself to try new things, to get outside my comfort zone…so it can only be a sign of good things, right?
I should add that I feel like a delinquent blogger as well; for some reason, I’m putting more pressure on myself when I write on this one, and feel like I must have Something Important to Say if I’m going to post, whereas on my personal blog I just sort of puke out words and I’m okay with it. I don’t want to sully our shared space with my unpolished dregs! I suppose I should get over that.